And I thank you
For bringing me here
For showing me home
For singing these tears
Can I tell you a story, please?
When we were kids, mothers told us fairy tales which used three magic words to let miracles happen. We took these words to adulthood to make sense of life and feel safe in the unknown. The words are please, thank you, and I’m sorry.
At first, these words worked like magic in the big scary world. Then the world started shrinking. The words multiplied. The truth was lost in complexity. To survive, we had to learn the socially acceptable form of lies: manners. The fairy tales with fairies, unicorns and talking trees were reduced to the reality of dull people who did not believe in fairy tales.
Wait a minute.
Nothing has changed. The fairies and the unicorns are still here. We are still in a fairy tale, and its rules still apply. So do the magic words: please, thank you, and sorry.
Why do we need them?
They hold a key to our thriving in life.
All living beings want to grow, bloom, and bear fruit. Forget Darwin; we are here not to survive but to flourish.
Nothing can bloom by itself–only through connection. The connection, the relationship, the interdependence of roots and ivy, vessels and capillaries, flows and streams, meridians and joints is the reason for the immense beauty, power and wisdom of the Universe.
Shamans say we are guests here. Nature, with all inhabitants both visible and invisible, has been here long before us and will stay long after we are gone. We are welcome as long as we are in tune with the hosts.
Why wouldn’t we all bloom like linden trees? Why wouldn’t we sing from dawn till dusk like those birds outside the window?
There is an obstacle, human assumption that keeps the world upside down and turns paradise into hell: You owe me.
I am a master here. I am here to take both from nature and from humans. The nature owes me its fruit and resources. My wife must do countless duties for me, my neighbor should stay out my sight, my child must study well. I can take whatever I want without asking, because it is mine by birthright. I will never say thank you, because I take credit for all. I will not ask, but I will make you do it. And, of course, I will never say sorry, because others are always to blame. You owe me.
Taking is our reality. Grabbing health, happiness, stuff on sale while we can. We say give me even while praying.
This is not how it works.
We are not here to take. Accumulation does not make me stronger. Connection does. My self-interest does not make me happier. Relationship with others does.
Let us look at the words again, as if we were kids:
Please. It is a request; it creates new connection. To ask for help, knowledge, permission. Let’s face it: we do not understand the Universe. Science has just scratched the surface. It is ok to ask if you do not know or can’t do it alone.
Thank you. It is gratitude for the given help, knowledge, permission. It also creates connection in return, strengthening the new connection. Gratitude is a powerful tool, especially for things we do not understand, which includes pretty much everything. For example, the miracle of life, the warmth of fire, the song of a bird.
Sorry. It restores the severed connection, reconnects. It clears the consequence of a mistake, a wrong step. It is not your fault. You do not owe me anything. We can start again.
The three magic words are enough to build a relationship with pretty much anything. All living beings understand it. Just remember: you are a guest in a fairy tale. Anything is possible.
Thank you for reading my story. I am sorry if did not resonate with you. May I write for you again, please?